Watching you fade away
To my very best friend:
Little did I know the day my mom found you on the street was the day my life began. I remember the phone call saying, “I found a stray dog, I’m bringing her with me to pick you up.”
It was my freshman year of high school. A new school. I was the new girl. It was hard to adjust. But the day we met, I knew it was meant to be. My perfect princess. Your scared, big eyes looked up at me and I told you I would protect you, that no one would hurt you when I was there. You were my rock, and you still are. For eight years, you have been there through my highs and lows. You have helped me weather the challenges of high school and college.
When the world attacked me and I felt no one was on my side, you were there to lick my tears every time. Just as I said I would protect you, you protected me.
Leaving for college was hard. I missed you the most. I would come back for the weekend just to see you. I lit up with joy every time I would see you wag your tail and look up at me with your soft brown eyes. I knew you were happy I was home. Mom was home.
The day I heard you had cancer was one of the hardest. I never expected it. My little girl, full of life, now sick.
What would I do without you? What will I do without you? Who will lick my tears when I cry? Who will comfort me when things are not okay? How will I ever recover from a loss as hard as this?
Every day I watch you grow more frail. Your appetite decreases. You grow thinner and thinner. Now your ribs are visible.
I know you are trying to hold on. You don’t want to leave yet and I don’t want you to either. I selfishly want you to stay, even though you don’t feel your best.
I see the light dim in your spirit. It kills me. Tears well up in my eyes when I think about it. I know I will have to let you go soon.
When that time arrives, I will feel the greatest heartbreak of all.